6R వెనకేదో ముందరేదో వెఱ్ఱి
నేను
(venakēdō muṃdarēdō verri nēnu)
INTRODUCTION
This poem appears very simple. Yet, in its
fourteen lines, Annamacharya quietly shows how a person does not live directly
in reality. We build an understanding from what we know, turn that
understanding into a “truth,” and then use it to guide the next step. He never
simply declares, “We do not know ourselves.” He shows us how we live.
We know what has already happened. We may even
imagine what could happen in the next few moments. From there, a sense of
certainty begins to form. We use it to take one step, then the next. From
what we know, we construct a “truth” about what we do not know, and make that
our guide in life.
The poet keeps testing this process as he moves
forward. He does not know what another birth will be like. He does not know
what tomorrow will bring. He does not even know whether he will wake after
sleep. Yet he keeps preparing for the future as though he knows it. As long
as he keeps checking himself within the understanding he has already built, he
sees no problem.
Then the visible world becomes another basis
for his understanding. He sees something, is attracted to it, and becomes
absorbed in it. There seems to be nothing wrong with it. Meanwhile, time
passes. He watches what is happening outside, but fails to notice what is
happening within himself.
Then comes another attempt to escape: పాపాలు చేసి మఱచి
బ్రదుకుచున్నాఁడఁ గాని (I commit
sins, forget them, and carry on with life). But immediately Annamacharya removes that
support: వైపుగఁ
జిత్రగుప్తుడు వ్రాయు టెఱఁగ (He may forget what he has done, but he does
not know that it is being carefully recorded). His not knowing becomes part of his ignorance.
Once again, he has given himself an excuse.
Here the question in the pallavi returns: నా-మనసు మరులు దేర మందేదొకో (Is there any remedy?) Until now, he has lived within the “truths” he
has constructed. Now the question is no longer about those truths. Could the
delusion lie in the very way his mind sees? And if so, he does not know
what the remedy is.
That is where the search begins. యేపున శ్రీవేంకటేశు నెక్కడో వెతకేఁ
గాని (I keep searching for saviour Sri Venkatesa)
This is not simply a search for something visible. It is the yogi's search for the
Avyakta (unmanifest). But the Avyakta cannot be found as an object. So the search
continues.
And finally, Annamacharya does not say: “Now
I understand.” He arrives at something much more subtle: Before — I
did not even know that I did not know. Now — I know that I do not
know. That is the extraordinary movement of this kirtana.
Delusion → Constructed understanding → Reliance
on the future → Reliance on what is visible → Attraction → Losing oneself → Sin
→ Self-exemption → Search → The Avyakta → Knowing that “I do not know.”
In fourteen simple lines, Annamacharya does not
merely describe a person's journey. He captures the human condition.
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అధ్యాత్మ సంకీర్తన
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రాగి
రేకు: 103-4
సంపుటము - సంకీర్తన: 2-16
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వెనకేదో ముందరేదో వెఱ్ఱి నేను నా- మనసు మరులు దేర మందేదొకో ॥పల్లవి॥ చేరి మీఁదటిజన్మము సిరులకు నోమేఁ గాని యే రూపై పుట్టుదునో యెఱఁగ నేను కోరి నిద్రించఁ బరచుకొన నుద్యోగింతుఁ గాని సారె లేతునో లేవనో జాడ దెలియ నేను ॥వెన॥ తెల్లవారినప్పుడెల్లా తెలిసితిననేఁ గాని కల్లయేదో నిజమేదో కాన నేను వల్ల చూచి కామినుల వలపించేఁ గాని మొల్లమై నామేను ముదిసిన దెరఁగ ॥వెన॥ పాపాలు చేసి మఱచి బ్రదుకుచున్నాఁడఁ గాని వైపుగఁ జిత్రగుప్తుడు వ్రాయు టెఱఁగ యేపున శ్రీవేంకటేశు నెక్కడో వెతకేఁ గాని నాపాలిదైవమని నన్నుఁ గాచు టెఱఁగ ॥వెన॥
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Philosophical POEM
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Copper
Plate: 103-4 Volume: 2-16
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venakēdō
muṃdarēdō
ve\r\ri nēnu
nā- manasu marulu dēra
maṃdēdokō ॥pallavi॥ cēri
mīṃ̐daṭijanmamu
sirulaku nōmēṃ̐ gāni yē rūpai
puṭṭudunō
ye\raṃ̐ga
nēnu kōri
nidriṃcaṃ̐
baracukona nudyōgiṃtuṃ̐ gāni sāre
lētunō lēvanō jāḍa
deliya nēnu ॥vena॥ tellavārinappuḍellā
telisitinanēṃ̐ gāni kallayēdō
nijamēdō kāna
nēnu valla cūci
kāminula
valapiṃcēṃ̐ gāni mollamai nāmēnu
mudisina deraṃ̐ga ॥vena॥ pāpālu
cēsi
ma\raci bradukucunnāṃ̐ḍaṃ̐ gāni vaipugaṃ̐
jitraguptuḍu
vrāyu
ṭe\raṃ̐ga yēpuna
śrīvēṃkaṭēśu
nekkaḍō
vetakēṃ̐ gāni nāpālidaivamani
nannuṃ̐ gācu
ṭe\raṃ̐ga ॥vena॥
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Details and Discussions:
Chorus
(Pallavi):
వెనకేదో
ముందరేదో వెఱ్ఱి నేను నా-
మనసు
మరులు దేర మందేదొకో ॥పల్లవి॥
venakēdō muṃdarēdō ve\r\ri nēnu nā-
manasu marulu dēra maṃdēdokō ॥pallavi॥
Sense of
the Poem:
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Meaning
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వెనకేదో ముందరేదో
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I do not know “where I
have come from” or “where I am going”.
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In this endless
unfolding of life, I do not know what lies behind or what lies ahead. I do
not know the order in which this life is disclosing.
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వెఱ్ఱి నేను
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(వెఱ్ఱి నేను = I am foolish) I cannot understand it.
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I live by my own
assumptions — as though I know what is ahead, even though I do not fully comprehend
that order.
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నా-మనసు మరులు దేర
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(మరులు దేర = to come out of
passion)
My mind must come out
of this delusion.
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My mind must come out
of the delusion created by “what I see” and ”what I think I know”.
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మందేదొకో
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(మందు = medicine, మందేదొకో = is
there medicine?) I do not know what the
remedy is.
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I do not know what is the
way out of this.
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Deeper
Note:
వెనకేదో ముందరేదో: వెనక does not mean only the distant past. Even the
moment that has just passed is already behind us. It is something we know, but
it is over. While we keep thinking about it, we move away from the moment that
is happening now.
ముందర too does not mean only the distant future. Even the next
moment is ahead of us. It has not yet happened, yet the mind imagines
beforehand what it will be like.
Therefore, “వెనకేదో ముందరేదో వెఱ్ఱి నేను:” is not
merely about not knowing the past and the future. I cannot hold on to what has
just passed; I cannot know beforehand what has not yet come. Yet the mind lives
by trying to hold on to one of them. Yet I run my life on the basis of both.
The folly here is to become certain about what I do not know. Now we see why poet
says “వెఱ్ఱి నేను” (foolish
me)
నా-మనసు మరులు దేర: This is why
మరులు means delusion. The delusion lies
precisely in the feeling: “I know what is behind and what is ahead.” My mind
must come out of that delusion that I must know.
మందేదొకో: But I do
not even know what the remedy is. Annamacharya does not prescribe some remedy
for us here. He leaves us with a more difficult question: “If the mind itself
is in delusion, how can it be certain that the remedy it chooses for itself is
the right one?”
First
Stanza:
చేరి
మీఁదటిజన్మము సిరులకు నోమేఁ గాని
యే
రూపై పుట్టుదునో యెఱఁగ నేను
కోరి
నిద్రించఁ బరచుకొన నుద్యోగింతుఁ గాని
సారె
లేతునో లేవనో జాడ దెలియ నేను ॥వెన॥
cēri mīṃ̐daṭijanmamu sirulaku nōmēṃ̐ gāni
yē rūpai puṭṭudunō ye\raṃ̐ga nēnu
kōri nidriṃcaṃ̐ baracukona nudyōgiṃtuṃ̐ gāni
sāre lētunō lēvanō jāḍa deliya nēnu ॥vena॥
Literal Sense:
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చేరి మీఁదటిజన్మము సిరులకు నోమేఁ గాని
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I make efforts now for
prosperity and comfort in my next birth.
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One thing is that “we
prepare for what lies ahead, even though we do not know what that life will
be”. Beyond that, notice how our attention is always on the future.
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యే రూపై పుట్టుదునో యెఱఁగ నేను
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I do not know in what
form I will be born.
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I do not even know what
that life will be like. If I don't know, what is the basis for my
preparation? How can one prepare for what one does not understand?
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కోరి నిద్రించఁ బరచుకొన నుద్యోగింతుఁ గాని
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I make preparations
before going to sleep.
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The poet brings the
same tendency closer. We prepare even for the difficult final stages of
life, as though we know what lies ahead.
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సారె లేతునో లేవనో జాడ దెలియ నేను
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I have no idea whether
I will wake again.
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The scale has now come
down to the next moment. I do not even know whether I will wake. Yet,
foolishly, I extend the present toward what comes next.
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Deeper
Notes:
Look at just one moment as it happens. Our
attention seems to travel everywhere except to the moment actually happening.
The poet
begins with the distant future చేరి
మీఁదటిజన్మము సిరులకు నోమేఁ గాని —another birth—and gradually brings it
right up to the next waking. We prepare for another life without knowing what
it will be. We prepare for tomorrow without knowing what it will bring. We go
to sleep assuming we will wake. And yet, even the next moment is not known to
us.
Annamacharya is not saying that we should stop
planning or preparing. He is showing something much subtler. We do not know
what lies ahead, yet we behave as though we do. That is the sting “వెఱ్ఱి నేను” of the Pallavi (= chorus).
Second Stanza:
తెల్లవారినప్పుడెల్లా
తెలిసితిననేఁ గాని
కల్లయేదో
నిజమేదో కాన నేను
వల్ల
చూచి కామినుల వలపించేఁ గాని
మొల్లమై
నామేను ముదిసిన దెరఁగ ॥వెన॥
tellavārinappuḍellā telisitinanēṃ̐ gāni
kallayēdō nijamēdō kāna nēnu
valla cūci kāminula valapiṃcēṃ̐ gāni
mollamai nāmēnu mudisina deraṃ̐ga ॥vena॥
Literal Sense:
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Plain Meaning
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Deeper Meaning
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తెల్లవారినప్పుడెల్లా తెలిసితిననేఁ గాని
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When day breaks, I know
what I see around me.
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I see what is manifest
before me and know it in the ordinary way, just as everyone else does. There
is nothing extraordinary about my knowing.
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కల్లయేదో నిజమేదో కాన నేను
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Yet I cannot tell what
is false and what is true.
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Though I am awake and
see things clearly, I cannot determine which of what I see is true and which
is false. Seeing something clearly does not mean that I know its
truth.
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వల్ల చూచి కామినుల వలపించేఁ గాని
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Seeing women, I become
attracted to them.
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What is visible
naturally draws me toward it. I respond to that, and thus become caught up in
one desire after another. I do not ask what lies behind that attraction.
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మొల్లమై నామేను ముదిసిన దెరఁగ
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I am unaware of time
passing. I keep moving from one desire to another, while remaining unaware of
the changes taking place in my own body with age. I respond to what is
before me, while remaining oblivious to what is happening to myself.
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Deep
Notes:
The Bhagavad Gita 2-69 says: what is daylight to
ordinary beings is the night of ignorance to the wise; what is night to
ordinary beings is daylight to those who turn inward. Therefore, what a person
takes to be clear in the daylight of ordinary awareness need not be complete
understanding.
That is why Annamacharya says: “తెల్లవారినప్పుడెల్లా తెలిసితిననేఁ గాని — కల్లయేదో
నిజమేదో కాన నేను.” I think I
am awake. What is before me is visible, and I know what I see. But, as the Gita
points out in 2-69, from the state in which I stand, I cannot tell what is true
and what is false in what I see.
Now the poet is not merely talking about the
outside world. He shows the same thing within himself. “వల్ల చూచి కామినుల వలపించేఁ గాని / మొల్లమై నామేను ముదిసిన దెరఁగ”
I see what is before me. It
attracts me. My mind moves toward it. The attraction of women is one example. Absorbed
in that attraction, I fail to notice what is happening within me. I do not even
notice my own body growing old.
The observation in the first two lines now goes
deeper: I am awake to what I see outside; I fail to see what is happening
within me. That is “నా-మనసు మరులు దేర” —being
absorbed in what appears before me is the delusion. Then “మందేదొకో” What is the
remedy?
Knowing that I am in delusion is the first
medicine. Once I see that, do I have to ask:“Did I not notice myself growing old?” The
difficult part is not knowing the medicine. The difficult part is knowing the state I am in.
Third Stanza:
పాపాలు
చేసి మఱచి బ్రదుకుచున్నాఁడఁ గాని
వైపుగఁ
జిత్రగుప్తుడు వ్రాయు టెఱఁగ
యేపున
శ్రీవేంకటేశు నెక్కడో వెతకేఁ గాని
నాపాలిదైవమని
నన్నుఁ గాచు టెఱఁగ ॥వెన॥
pāpālu cēsi ma\raci bradukucunnāṃ̐ḍaṃ̐ gāni
vaipugaṃ̐ jitraguptuḍu vrāyu ṭe\raṃ̐ga
yēpuna śrīvēṃkaṭēśu nekkaḍō vetakēṃ̐ gāni
nāpālidaivamani nannuṃ̐ gācu ṭe\raṃ̐ga ॥vena॥
Literal Sense:
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పాపాలు చేసి మఱచి బ్రదుకుచున్నాఁడఁ గాని
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I commit sins,
forget them, and continue to commit more.
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I can forget
what wrong I have done, but forgetting does not make it disappear. I continue
with the same old wrong deeds.
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వైపుగఁ జిత్రగుప్తుడు వ్రాయు టెఱఁగ
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I know not how
skilfully Chitragupta records them.
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Chitragupta represents the recording of what I forget. I am unaware
of what is being recorded—and, at some point, I must answer for it.
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యేపున శ్రీవేంకటేశు నెక్కడో వెతకేఁ గాని
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I search for Sri
Venkatesha, wondering where He is.
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Seeing the
enormity of my sins and not knowing what to do, I search for Sri Venkatesha
outside. I do not find Him, yet I continue my search.
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నాపాలిదైవమని నన్నుఁ గాచు టెఱఁగ
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I do not know
that He is my protecting deity and is guarding me.
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I fail to
recognise what is already happening in my life because I do not know myself.
The poet continues to say that he is ignorant. Yet the very fact that He is still
there, protecting him, makes him indirectly recognise the
Lord within himself.
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Deep
Notes:
This last stanza is even sharper. The poet does
not say, “I have understood.” He finally arrives at the clear
recognition: “I do not know.”
పాపాలు చేసి మఱచి బ్రదుకుచున్నాఁడఁ గాని — the ordinary man's state. He commits sins,
forgets them, and continues with the same old wrong deeds. వైపుగఁ జిత్రగుప్తుడు వ్రాయు టెఱఁగ — even though he forgets what he has done, he
does not know that his actions are being recorded. His not knowing is itself
his ignorance.
From here the poet moves to another level: యేపున శ్రీవేంకటేశు నెక్కడో వెతకేఁ గాని Having recognised his own condition, the yogi
searches for the Avyakta. But the Avyakta is not an object that can be
found somewhere outside. So, the search continues.
Then comes the final line: నాపాలిదైవమని నన్నుఁ గాచు టెఱఁగ Here a subtle change takes place. The poet does
not say, “I have understood.”
He continues to say, “I do not know.” Yet he cannot fail to notice that
he is still here, and that some power has been protecting him all along. Through
this, he indirectly recognises the Divine.
So the real turning point of the stanza is: Knowing
that “I do not know.” This is not ordinary acknowledgment. It is becoming
aware of one's own ignorance. The poet's final knowledge does not take the form
of “I know.” It takes the form of: “I know that I do not know.” That
is the sharpness of this stanza.
Progression
of the Poem:
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What
it leads to |
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వెనకేదో
ముందరేదో వెఱ్ఱి నేనునా-మనసు మరులు దేర మందేదొకో |
I do not know
what lies behind or ahead. Yet I live as though I know. I do not even know
that I am caught in delusion.
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Passion
is taking me over.
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చేరి
మీఁదటిజన్మము సిరులకు నోమేఁ గానియే రూపై పుట్టుదునో యెఱఁగ నేనుకోరి నిద్రించఁ
బరచుకొన నుద్యోగింతుఁ గానిసారె లేతునో లేవనో జాడ దెలియ నేను
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I do not know
what another birth will be like. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do
not even know whether I will wake after sleep. Yet I keep preparing for the
future as though I know it.
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I
try to establish a path for my life.
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తెల్లవారినప్పుడెల్లా
తెలిసితిననేఁ గానికల్లయేదో నిజమేదో కాన నేనువల్ల చూచి కామినుల వలపించేఁ
గానిమొల్లమై నామేను ముదిసిన దెరఁగ
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I am awake and
know what I see around me. But I cannot tell what is true and what is false.
What I see attracts me; I become absorbed in it. Meanwhile, I fail even to
notice my own ageing.
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I
set out to seek the truth, but become lost in the attractions of life and
grow old.
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పాపాలు
చేసి మఱచి బ్రదుకుచున్నాఁడఁ గానివైపుగఁ జిత్రగుప్తుడు వ్రాయు టెఱఁగ
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I commit sins
and forget them. I do not even know that they are being carefully recorded.
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I
keep committing sins.
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యేపున
శ్రీవేంకటేశు నెక్కడో వెతకేఁ గాని
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Now the search
begins. As my own condition becomes clearer, I begin to search for what I do
not know. This is the yogi's search for the Avyakta. But the Avyakta
cannot be seen as an object.
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Then
search begins. I seek the Avyakta, but it cannot be found by looking for
something visible.
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నాపాలిదైవమని
నన్నుఁ గాచు టెఱఁగ
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At first, I do
not even know that I do not know. Now I know that I do not know.
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I
become aware of my own not-knowing.
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This progression shows how Annamacharya quietly
takes us away from delusion to self-awareness.
Delusion → Constructed understanding → Reliance
on the future → Reliance on what is visible → Attraction → Losing oneself → Sin
→ Self-exemption → Search → The Avyakta → Knowing that “I do not know.”
X-X-The END-X-X
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